Feb 25, 2010

To the one I love...

I've written the following with a very special person to me in mind. It's helped me to manage my emotions as I deal with the sudden absence of him in my life. To anyone that's lost a loved one, or just can't be with that person, I hope that these words will help ease the pain a bit too. One!
You'll remain nameless to the masses, but I know you as The One. As quickly as you returned to my life and I was to develop lasting feelings for you, fate had another agenda, another purpose for you and I, and I've lost you again. But I know that the physical is just one tiny aspect of what we shared and was not what our relationship was built on so am not fussed about that. What ails me right now is the fact that your life is not yours anymore and so is, therefore, not mine. I long for yesterday when our plans were our own, when the future was ours for the making.
In an instant, your life changed and now mine must to. I'm reeling in disbelief at everything that's happened but still love you, support you and am yours 100%. There's no way any of that could change. You made sure of that with the way you were there for me during one of the most difficult times of my life. You took me in your arms, wrapped them around me and provided me with the comfort I both wanted and needed. You took my problems on as if they were your own and helped me get on the path that would lead me out of the darkness. You were (and still are) my angel.
I believe that everything happens for a reason so although I don't understand why you're not with me now, I accept it as a part of the larger puzzle that is life. I know that you being brought back to me after a lifetime was a blessing. Once I stopped trying to rationalize it, I was able to experience its pure beauty. You affected me in ways that were unexpected and that have changed me, changed my life. The fact that I don't have you with me will be difficult for me not to dwell on, but I will try nonetheless. I know that's what you'd want me to do; what you'd need me to do. So I will try to find the beauty and blessing in this thing, in this experience and keep living for you, for us, for our future.
I will always love you, look forward to the day when I will see your face and, once again, our lives will be our own.
Forever yours. Always, in all ways, Dyan
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