Oct 9, 2014

Open Letter to You

Warning: The following post contains strong language meant to offend the person it is intended for.

Wed, October 1, 2014

To You That This Does Concern:

This letter is LONG OVERDUE!  It's overdue by about 849 days.  It's taken me that long to articulate my animosity toward your cowardly behavior.  Because you are a coward, and you're truly the only one I've ever known in my 42-year-old life.

As I speak with doctors, surgeons, and physical and occupational therapists, I wonder what are you doing?  As I make decisions that will positively impact the life of my sweet angel, I wonder what decisions have you made that positively impacts the life of others?  As my stomach turns itself inside out - literally - and I spend countless hours back and forth to see her and even more lost time thinking of her and how to improve her life I wonder if you even think about her everyday? And I know what your pathetic answer to that last question would be if I ever really cared to ask you: 'Yes, D! I think about her everyday!'  But you're lying because that could not be true.  You could not really be thinking about Dylan everyday and then continue to live your life without her in it.

The funny thing about all this is that it's really not that much of a surprise.  I mean, I admit, I was still disappointed when I realized that you were going to remove yourself from her life, but it was consistent with the behavior you'd been showing for years.  But while it's not a surprise, it is something that irks me every now and then.  And right now, when things are at a delicate point for her, I truly cannot stand you.  I thank God everyday that I don't see or hear from you because I honestly am not sure what you'd get.  And that's not to say that I'd 'go off' but, really, I just don't know what you'd get.  And that's mostly because I'm just so exhausted from everything that has to do with Dylan that I don't have time for bullshit.

So, go on with your miserable life.  I know it must be miserable because she's not in it.  Go on with your meaningless existence.  How much meaning could it have if she's not a priority?  Just go on.  Don't look back.  Just look forward to the nothingness that your future has in store for you.  Because it could never have anything of substance without her in it.  Yours is a life I would not wish on my worst enemy.  But I'm SO glad that it's yours!!!

This letter is dedicated to anyone who is a caregiver and has decided to irk his/her responsibilities.  To take on the responsibility of loving another person and being there for them no matter what is not something to take lightly.  It takes an incredible amount of resolve and strength to do that -- especially when things get tough, which will happen in life.  It's not something that you can just give up because you want to.   Well, let me rephrase that because, we all have the free will to do anything we want in life.  But to make the decision to just shrug off a person that thought you loved them comes with consequences.  So when a person does something like this, well, I think you can tell, I lose all respect and patience for them.  So take heed, cowards.  It's okay to love.  But do so responsibly.


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