Oct 9, 2014

Wow! This Woman REALLY Has It All!!

I was just dumbstruck by this article that I read recently from Fast Company's David Zax entitled, "The Many, Many Things You Should Say "No" to At Work".  I was instantly intrigued by the title and by David's tag line to get inspired after reading it.  I must say, I am.

You can read the entire article here, but to summarize, it's a refreshing perspective from Kristin Muhlner on how we can live life and truly have it all.  It's a question I've often asked myself as a mom, as a wife, as a daugther, sister, friend and every other relationship label there is out there.  In today's society where instant gratification is king, it seems more and more that we all have no choice but to accept all that comes our way.  That the best of us know how to juggle it all without having too many balls drop (because they eventually do).  I'd come away from my long sessions of deep thought and contemplation with the same outcome every time: work/life balance was a myth and you just could not have it all.

This sentiment was usually confirmed by the various articles I'd read over the years where both women and men  - but mostly women - begrudgingly admitted that they did not have the answer to consistently establishing a healthy work/life balance where you could have it all.  In these articles, most admitted to the seesaw effect I think most of us live with everyday where we're great one day (or moment) at work while our life suffers or vice versa; just never both.  Each subject usually spoke to the moment when they decided which was more important - work or life - and how they began to focus on that aspect which made it easier to say "no" to the demands of the other.  I noted that the focus could change back and forth throughout life and also that there were always feelings of guilt or falling short on the other.  You simply could not have it all.

Enter, Kristin Muhlner.  She lives by a piece of advice about relationships given to her by her 80-year-old aunt from Kentucky which simply states: 'Start out like you can hold out'.  She goes on to say, "if you're the person who says yes to every project, that's a dangerous mentality to get into.  Let's not talk about work/life balance: Let's just talk about living, about making great choices both at work and home."  It's such a simple bit of advice that I felt stupid not figuring it out myself.  Say "no" more!! Say "no" to what didn't fit in with what you deemed as valuable to your life.  But most importantly, start to think about your life as a whole and not segmented into a work life and home life.  I think that's where we fail.  The question then becomes, 'Is this good for my life?' instead of 'Is this good for my work life or home life?'

It's simple, but profound and I'm taking up the challenge.  I've come to the point in my life where I've had to go back to a 9-to-5 to get the bills paid and I've been struggling with that decision because I'd decided a few years ago that the best thing for my life was to work for myself and start my business.  So, how do I get back to that?  I'd just resigned myself to accepting this life while working at my craft on the side like so many others.  But my heart and soul were suffering for it.  And I was losing valuable time with my son and daughter.  I felt like I had no other choice, however, and just needed to do what I needed to until I could do what I want.

So, I'm saying "no" to that mentality! I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve.  I know what I want out of life now I just have the balls to do what's necessary to get it.  Shit, if Kristin Muhlner can, why can't I??

Has Kristin inspired you? Share your thoughts below.

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